whoah! It's almost 3am and I still don't wanna sleep. Hell yeah, I'm dead tired but wasting time is the last thing to do at this boring night. I'm writing in Filipino for the next few sentences, missing my mother tongue eh... :)
LAHAT NG BAGAY SA MUNDO AY MAY DAHILAN KUNG BAKIT KAILANGAN MANGYARI. KADALASAN PA AY HINDI NATIN ITO GUSTO O GINUSTO. ISANG HALIMBAWA NA LANG AY ANG PAGKAWALA NG ISANG TAONG MINAMAHAL.
HALOS DALAWANG TAON AT KALAHATI NA ANG NAKAKALIPAS MULA NANG PUMANAW ANG AKING LOLA, INA NG AKING AMA. NAPAKABILIS NG PANAHON, NAAALALA KO PA NOONG GABI NA NALAMAN KONG WALA NA SIYA. HALOS PARANG AYAW KO NG UMUWI,WALANG TIGIL SA PAGPATAK ANG AKING MGA LUHA LALO NA NANG MAKITA KO SIYA. WALA NG HININGA. HINDI NA MULING BABALIK PA.... NAGING MAHIRAP ANG PAGTANGGAP SA SAKIN LALO NA SA AKING AMA DAHIL PAREHO NAMING NARARAMDAMAN NA WALA KAMING NAGAWA PARA MAPAHABA PA ANG BUHAY NIYA. TAMA RING SABIHIN NA HINDI KO NAGAWA ANG LAHAT NG MAKAKAYA KO PARA MAPASAYA SIYA SA BAWAT SANDALI...
ENGLISH MODE, di ko na kaya magtagalog.... hahaha...
I just feel like writing about my Granny because it was her bday last jan17 and I miss all the times that she was still here on earth. I love her, but sad to say, I am not hundred percent sure that she knew it or somehow, she felt it. I've been watching the video (tribute) I made for her two days ago. The nostalgic air in my room is just getting worse, I even see how I neglected her so many times when I got a lot of chances to show her my love. The world was just cruel to her. And I was one of those insensitive human who was supposed to understand her deeply. *tears*
Her death has started the losing grip of my father to see all the brighter things in life. Until now, he can't accept what happened. I even told him to move on thousands of times already. Maybe, I don't understand him but it's not getting any better. Our relationship has changed into a whirlwind of arguments, bitter memories of the past and unending regrets. :(
I'm praying that Nanay will hear me when I talk to God at night. I may be a fool to think that she can actually hear me but who knows, we are just one line apart from heaven. My one little prayer is for her to enlighten my Dad's mind to accept the reality, to cherish the good things and move on with courage. I am positive about this. Please help me God.......
Happy bday nanay... ilove you and i will always will....
an angel dropped byy `]]
Monday, January 18, 2010
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
In great grief I see no one, I feel empty and so useless. I don't know the exact reason why I am here, why did he create me? I question Him for giving me these things that I cannot handle without fear. This is my great weakness. FEAR. I am afraid that nobody can ever understand the depth of my being, no one could ever accept me for all my shortcomings, and no one can be there for me, just be there for me to give me a little solace.
I am no good follower of God because I feel doubts that I never felt before. Now, I'm taking a long winding path with no direction at all. To be disowned by your own father, to be hated by your own blood,it's the worst feeling. So I don't want to lose my faith in my Heavenly father. I feel sorry that my miseries would blur me like this, turning my back, looking back but not moving forward to be close to him again.
May He forgive me for being weak and mindless of other people's feelings. Please give me another chance to see the light again. With all my heart, I will wait and I will do something about it to see it once more.
Thank you Lord. :'(
an angel dropped byy `]]
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Hmmm... Belated Merry Christmas and Advance Happr New year to y'all!
Well, I'm blogging now because I'm alone and I don't feel like sleeping yet. Rob is off with his colleagues for drinking I guess.. The whole day is just so fast coz I just slept, watched some Pinoy TV shows ( i miss them) and went out to check some wireless broadband plans. Oh, the most important thing i did was see my Rhiannon walking and playing all her Christmas gifts. She was so busy that I couldn't get her attention. But I am happy to see her thou it's only thru my webcam.. :( Anyway, in one month time, she'll be back here again!!! The excitement is really unexplainable, it's overwhelming. :)
Two days more to a joyful, abundant and LOVE-filled New year for me and my family. Joyful in a sense that this is my baby's first Christmas, my family is intact and happy, and so far, everyone is healthy... The abundance I feel is not really in terms of any material things but the fulfillment of being a mother, wife, sister and daughter to my family. I am doing the best i can for all of them. And of course, the last one is always the most important one, my heart is always full of love. I want to share this to all those without it or losing it... Thank God that after so many years of searching for the right man, i've found him in robert's Pinnochio face... hehehehe. He's really one of a kind.. :)
I'm starting to feel sleepy so i better log off... He'll be coming soon... :)
an angel dropped byy `]]
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009


It's been exactly 8 days, 11 hrs and 42 mins since I last saw my angel... :'(
I can never ever figure out how much I miss her, especially that this is her first Christmas and New Year, yet, she's thousand miles away from us. If my Dad isn't going back Phils for the interview, we will surely extend her stay until the holidays are over. Reality sucks, I need to wait for two months before I see her again...
Well, I just wanted to blog about my partner in crime, my strength, my brother and bestfriend.....
We've been together for more than 3 years but I still feel the excitement and the butterflies in my stomach whenever he's with me. I simply love the fact that nothing much has changed in the way he treats me now that we have Angela, compared before that we only had ourselves in our own world...
Robert is truly a man who takes good care of me, show his love in the most explicit way and never get tired of understanding all my weakness and shortcomings.
I just love him, that's the simplest phrase I can't tell any further. I'm too much overwhelmed with his sweet talks today.. hahaha
:) Andito na sha... bye!
an angel dropped byy `]]
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Yes! It's the first day of the month and yet, it's not a good start for me to be well motivated... I hate to say that people are just shallow, fault- finders and heartless.Since I came here, I know that there are more difficulties than what I've expected. These hardships are most likely the people you're always with. There are those who think highly of themselves, those who are cruel in saying the things that they want without thinking that may hurt other people's feelings, those who are blind to see that a person who's not yet so good has the right to commit mistakes and so on....
Practice makes perfect. But only God is perfect. It only means that even if you're the richest and toughest man on earth, you will still commit mistakes. And so do I.
These past few days, I'm starting to realize something, " happiness is a bliss", so I should make the most of it. Why don't I try to see the real world, the real me, the one that I really wanted to happen. The situation shouldn't hold me back. I need to be stronger for my family coz they are the only reason why I'm here, fighting.
Dear God, I hope that these people may also learn from their mistakes, that I am not perfect,, that they should be perfect first before throwing anything on me. I am more than willing to change for the better. Hoping that they may see it.
XoXo,
RHiAnArOb -------<@
an angel dropped byy `]]
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
My angel just turned six months and she's still growing more beautiful each day. Last Nov. 11, around 10am at Singapore Changi airport, i felt the adrenalin rush again to hold, hug and kiss my most valuable possession. I was so excited that I forgot that Robert was with me. We were actually betting before we went there who should be the first one to come to her. I miss her more than words can say....
Here are my cute discoveries about my Angela:
She's one helluva smiling face and she really looks like a lil angel.. Everytime you speak to her, she will definitely smile or giggle.
She loves to play with her saliva which always make Singapore rain...lol
She can't sleep without the two lil bolster pillow I bought for her since she was born....
She mumbles a lot, showing how smart she will be in the future.
It's more to all these stuffs. My experience of being a mom is irreplaceable. Nobody can take this away from me... Thank you Lord for everything. I love you.... :)
an angel dropped byy `]]
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009

Happy 5th month to my one and only LOVE....
My girl is growing really fast! Yesterday, she had her monthly check up and the doctor said that she's quite tall for her age. :) This is the time she's allowed to eat some cereals and baby bites which I'm sure she will enjoy!
Well, I can't wait any longer, two weeks is such a long wait... Baby will be coming here with her grandma, probably until Christmas. On the other hand, my dad will be home in the Phils around next week and he's so excited to see her lil angel... :) i haven't seen him for more than 2 years I guess... I hope everything will be fine when he moves to Guam next month....
Hope us luck all the way... Me and dadie are working hard for our lil angel.. :)
Thank u God for the blessings....
an angel dropped byy `]]
Monday, October 26, 2009
Get awesome blog templates like this one from BlogSkins.comGet awesome blog templates like this one from BlogSkins.com